The biggest opportunity to build trust is when there’s a break or absence of trust. It’s true.
When there’s a break, disagreement, conflict of any sort we all cringe. No one looks forward to conflict, healthy or not. And yet, it’s the single greatest opportunity to build trust, repair the relationship, gain deeper understanding of the situation and each other as well as become more trustworthy.
Why don’t we embrace the opportunity?
- We are more committed to being right than having the relationship (usually ends with regrets).
- Our pride is in the way (leaves you hollow with no learning).
- We believe the other person is learning a lesson (they’re not).
- We don’t want to be vulnerable (feels like weakness, looks like heroic measures outside of you).
- We hope they’ll make the first move (assume they won’t and avoid a ton of wasted time).
- We’ve conditioned ourselves and rationalized away why people matter (leads to loneliness).
- It seems scary (once you dive in, it’s not – that’s your ego stopping you).
- We don’t want to be rejected (if that’s the price, you’ll have peace knowing – it’s unlikely).
- We’ve convinced ourselves it’s easier (it’s not, it’s loss and grief and will only multiply).
- We haven’t practiced, so it isn’t easy (and it will never be if you don’t do it).
Don’t wait. Life is short. Don’t find out the hard way – it’s not worth it.