#22 – The Things You're Not Saying

by Sue Hawkes

#22- The Things You’re Not Saying
Frequently in my work with leaders and their leadership teams, I facilitate dialogues they are waiting to have. They may not always know it, but they are.
The beauty of being an “outsider,” a consultant, someone paid to help them gracefully work through the tough stuff, is that you must be willing to be fired almost daily. Some days are easier than others.
Last week, I had five different teams I worked with – one each day. It is usually exhilarating for me. I am energized by truth telling, vulnerability, authenticity and being in dialog that isn’t “easy.”
That’s not true for everyone; it’s why we avoid the challenging topics and remain superficially pacified with some level of satisfaction overriding an undercurrent of varying levels of sadness, fear, and discontent.
I watch smart, capable and genuinely nice people ebb and flow with the stories they tell to avoid conflict as well as unrestricted joy. They settle for a placebo effect and a story justifying mediocrity.
When I have a week like last week, where five different teams courageously told the truth about each other directly to one another, I am both honored and grateful to do the work I do. Being a truth teller isn’t always popular or even appreciated in the moment; it is authentic.
It’s easier to settle. It’s more challenging to be courageous and open your mind and heart and expect more. The reality however, is that you know either way. You can’t con yourself; the things you’re not saying speak so loudly we can’t hear you.

Sue Hawkes#22 – The Things You're Not Saying