Choosing Hope #44
I was going to bed just now, as I am consciously working on getting 6.5 hours of sleep each night. I’ve got a few minutes before that will be too late. I jumped out of bed, because this message was nagging at me as I was attempting to relax for the anticipated rest. And I couldn’t do it, I had to get up and write.
Today has been a challenging day filled with tough things. Things I struggle with. Things out of my control. I hate that. And overall, the news has been saddening, disheartening, tough to deal with and overall, it feels bad. Like it was disproportionately too much bad to good. And I’m one who works to find the good, neutralize the bad at the very least, see the possibilities and keep my eyes on the opportunities despite the challenges.
I’ve worked hard over the years on my language, my thinking and my practices. After all, I’m a leader and a coach; my job is to find hope.
Only today it was more difficult than other days. And that just makes me human.
So as I laid in bed, feigning sleep, there was a recurring image that showed itself five different times today. The eagles are back. We have eagles who frequently perch at our house. There are usually two of them. I haven’t seen them all winter. Today, they were here five times, and now there are three. One doesn’t have it’s colors yet, it’s a baby.
Call me crazy, but with a last name like Hawkes, birds of prey (especially hawks) remind me of my Mom, Dad and brother who’ve all passed away. On my most challenging days, I’ll always see hawks as I drive. It gives me hope. Eagles are the same. They are a bad-ass form of bird and they represent so much for me – freedom, hope, bad-ass attitude, power and grace all wrapped into one.
So as I couldn’t fall asleep with all the hard news of today and as I joined the world in mourning Notre Dame, the images of the eagles returning and staying in our yard gave me hope. Something to fixate on that reminds me there’s more to today than the tough stuff. Today, hope is something I had to search for and it came as I relaxed, no surprise. Today, hope wasn’t readily available. Today, hope was a choice.